"Yang penting bukan kekayaan dan nama... tapi iman."

Ah, my dad's words - works everytime. Last month, Oprah Winfrey and Tom Cruise teamed up for a revealing exposé on Cruise's extremely utterly desperately egregiously and overkill-ly real(joke) passion for new squeeze Katie Holmes. But this month, Winfrey and Cruise are linked again with both A-listers achieving top-10 status on Forbes magazine's Celebrity 100 list. Katie I-am-the-weakest-link-in-Batman-Begins Holmes, on the other hand, didn't make the cut. (Thank God, don't know how Cruise would react if she does) The Forbes list ranks famous folk according to their power, which in turn is determined by the size of their paychecks combined with their media presence (something that I would accomplish in two to three months). Hence the big names of yesteryear (hello, women of Friends) can easily be replaced by a more timely act (hello, women of Desperate Housewives). Winfrey, whose number-one ranking on the list secures her the title of world's most powerful celeb (at least until two to three months), raked in $225 million in the last 12 months through her reign as Queen of Daytime Television. The talk-show host climbed two rungs from her already lofty number-three status of last year. Cruise dropped a few notches from last year's number-four ranking but still managed to pull off a more than respectable standing at number 10 with yearly earnings of $31 million. Coming at second was Tiger Woods, whose impressive skills on the links were good enough for an $87 million paycheck. Also ranking high in the athletics department was number five, Shaquille O'Neal, whose hoop dreams pulled down $33 million. Mel Gibson, whose religious epic The Passion of the Christ secured him the top spot on the list last year, fell to number three, but pulled in a hefty $185 million thanks to DVD sales. After being absent from the list last year, George Lucas was back with a vengeance at number four, thanks to the huge box-office gross of Star Wars: Episode III: The Revenge of the Sith and a hefty payday of $290 million. Fellow sci-fi aficionado Steven Spielberg, whose War of the Worlds opens next month, came in at number six with yearly earnings of $80 million. On a musical note, sparring singers Madonna and Elton John are close again, at least when it comes to the list. The Material Girl came in at number eight, while the Rocket Man landed the number-nine slot. Zafer's favourite funnyman Will Ferrell and the funny version of myself Dave Chappelle cracked up the list for the first time this year, coming in at numbers 18 and 78, respectively. Also appearing on the list for the first time is Denzel Washington, whose $30 million earnings put him at number 31. Elsewhere on the list, sibling rivalry was the theme as Jessica Simpson (64th) outranked little bitch sis, Ashlee (76th). Both sisters made the list as 'personalities' as opposed to 'musicians.' Reversing the trend, tennis ace Serena Williams (62nd) outpaced big sister Venus (81st). However, both Williams sisters got served by Maria Sharapova (57th) whose earnings of $18 million made her the highest-paid female athlete on the list. Jennifer Aniston, who just two years ago topped the list, fell from last year's ranking of number 17 to 37, while her former Friends costars Courteney Cox Arquette and Lisa Kudrow dropped off the list entirely. Meanwhile, Desperate Housewives stars Teri Hatcher, Eva Longoria, Marcia Cross, Felicity Huffman and Nicollette Sheridan made the list as a group in the personalities category, coming in at number 25. In the teen-bitchy-queen race, Lindsay Lohan (52nd) ultimately edged out reputed rival Hilary Duff (54th) but both were outmatched by Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen whose combined earnings of $21 million landed them at number 35. Then there were the famous folk who made the list while their significant others were excluded. Cameron Diaz (66th) made the list but her boy-toy Justin Timberlake didn't. Jennifer Garner (70), yes but daddy-to-be Ben Affleck, no. Will Smith (13th) made the cut but wife Jada Pinkett Smith, not so much. Brad Pitt (11th) on the list; Angelina Jolie... oh, wait! My mistake. They just play a fucking couple in Mr. and Mrs. Smith, right? Notably absent from the Celebrity 100 this year were perennial list denizens Tom Hanks, as well as Jim Carrey. The full Celebrity 100 power list can be found in the latest issue of Forbes magazine, which hits newsstands Friday (Ha! Ha! Thank God I'm living in the US. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Screw you guys!) Anyway, here's a recap of the top 10 celebs and their earnings: 1. Oprah Winfrey, $225 million (just talk and talk and talk and... KACHING!) 2. Tiger Woods, $87 million (he owes that quirky name a lot. I mean, who the hell cares about him if his name is something like Rupert or Aloysius) 3. Mel Gibson, $185 million (what can I say, religious sells man!) 4. George Lucas, $290 million (stupid geeks! Wait, I'm one of 'em) 5. Shaquille O'Neal, $33 million (did he really convert to Islam? Man, religious [or just religion] do sell) 6. Steven Spielberg, $80 million (sorry, Jew. But you just can't fight the Muslim power. Ha! Ha!) 7. Johnny Depp, $37 million (ah, our favourite chocolateir! Yippie!) 8. Madonna, $50 million (it's all because of Guy Ritchie. I mean what, sold-out concerts? Big deal!) 9. Elton John, $44 million (sorry, Julian. But gay rules!) 10. Tom Cruise, $31 million (Tom at no. 10? Well, not all religious sells I assumed) And where the hell is Chuck Norris, man?! Fuck!